I am in the middle of my work chores and my brain out of nowhere is thinking about this matter. So, here I am, get distracted again. Haha.

Hmm I just realized this is my first post of 2026. Welcome, 2026 and let’s see who I become this year.

Alright, so I had a quick conversation with one of my best friends almost a month ago when I posted about jealousy in friendship. She then mentioned if it is more than jealousy but it’s already become envious and people are envious of things they don’t have, and that is what kills happiness. She added that when you learn to not compare yourself with others you live happier, then social media has done so much damage in this sense. 

I completely agree with her opinion. Observing other people’s lives, or at least the parts they choose to show, slowly shapes my mind into forming certain standards such as what beauty should look like, what happiness is supposed to feel like, what a ‘perfect’ relationship looks like, and what success means, etc. And with the constant presence of social media, these standards only become louder and more distorted, leaving us even more confused about our own definition of happiness. I don’t completely blame social media, but it seems to encourage people to compare themselves more and more with others. Other people’s standards slowly become our own. And it’s true, comparison really does steal our happiness. 

And it doesn’t come only from social media. It also comes from our social lives, our environment, and the people we interact with. I remember being someone who took pride in providing for and pampering myself with my own money, proud of being an independent woman. But over time, the circle of women around me began to change, from women who shared the same values to women who felt proud of, and even expected, their partners to provide for them. That shift made me question a lot about what equality really means in a relationship. I found myself feeling uneasy and even guilty for thinking this way, both toward myself and toward my partner. It made me realize how easily comparison can blur my original principles.

As the new year begins, we often set resolutions: to be better. And for me, being a better version of myself is not competing with anyone else, but just with the old me. Writing the points above made me pause and ask: what does ‘better’ actually look like?

It sounds simple as “stop comparing”. But honestly, telling myself to ‘just stop’ doesn’t work. At least not for me. So if I really want to get there, I need to work backwards. First, cutting down my social media screen time, because constant access to other people’s standards only feeds the noise. Second, being more intentional about who I let into my circle. And who stays? The ones who cherish me, support me, challenge me, and offer honest, constructive criticism. Anyone else… well, some ties need to be loosened. I once read somewhere that the older you get, the smaller your circle becomes, and I couldn’t relate more.

This year, I want to feel happier and lighter. And I think that starts with stopping comparison and setting my own standards. Again, everything I share here is simply my own thoughts. Everyone has different perspectives, and that’s okay. . Choose what helps you grow. Choose what makes you better. Set your own standard. Yours is yours. Theirs is theirs, and vice versa.

As I am, until the next thought,

Im a mumbler